It is never a good thing when you look up the weather online first thing in the morning and you see this:
Needless to say my planned drill run is going to suck (Disclaimer: it did). And I don’t care what you say Jenn Carr, this is fucking hot. I’ve run in the Texas heat – this was just as bad. By the way, how is it that it’s fucking hotter here than it currently is in Rio?
Anyway, at least I had some fun tunes to enjoy and reminisce over as I suffered 5.5k worth of drills, easy jogging and walking (lots of walking), specifically the ‘Never Loved Elvis‘ album by The Wonder Stuff.
AND, it’s even got an airplane on it, bitch!
The woman vaulting over a birthday cake is pretty special too.
The album, released in June of 1991, represents the Stuff’s third full length offering and also happened to feature guest musicians Kirsty MacColl and Linda McRae. While I’m still partial to their debut album (click HERE), most will likely proclaim this to be their best album. It is true, however, that this is the album that made Miles Hunt and company at least temporary superstars in the U.K (it also got them the most commercial exposure they ever achieved in the U.S., where the Kinksy, music hall-styled single ‘The Size of a Cow‘ was a big college radio hit). High school buds Michelle and Sophia will likely have as many fond memories of this song as I do. In fact, I won’t lie, I still remember all the words and unashamedly sang them aloud all along the Friendship Trail.
That wasn’t a coyote in heat.
It was me.
‘Never Loved Elvis‘ departs from the first two albums by de-emphasizing the dance rhythms and Buzzcocks-like guitars and (courtesy of new multi-instrumentalist Martin Bell) adding fiddle, banjo, mandolin, acoustic guitar, and accordion to the mix. MacColl’s inimitable vocals add another excellent texture to a couple of songs, especially the folk-rocky ‘Welcome to the Cheap Seats‘. There’s a much sweeter sound to this unapologetically poppy album, and even Hunt’s lyrics are less snide and arrogant than before.
In fact, the entire album follows in the tradition of providing simple yet catchy pop tunes, including ‘Caught in my Shadow‘, ‘Mission Drive‘ (which documents the Miles Hunt’s fall out with best friend and former flatmate Clint Mansell of Pop Will Eat Itself), ‘Play‘, ‘38 Line Poem‘ and great covers of The Jam’s ‘That’s Entertainment‘ and the popular gospel tune ‘Will the Circle Be Unbroken‘.
When I originally left I knew it was going to be stupid hot out but I figured, hey, I’m only running a short distance and, even then, at an easy pace…how bad could it be? Now, my “dumbassness” has been documented in these online pages over and over and over again, and this is only another prime example of how ridiculously stupid I am. In other words, it was torturous. The legs felt fine, but every pore in my body cried out in agony, which was quite a lot given how much tears (sweat) they shed for a near 40 minutes. And then there was my heart rate, which jacked itself up in the stupid° temps in about the first 10 nanoseconds of the run and never – ever – came down…even while walking.
Yes, folks, the flesh was willing but the mind and spirit were weak.
So then I thought hey, maybe there will be some shade along the Friendship Trail and then again along Point Pleasant Rd. – and there was. So the 104° dropped to, say, 102°. Big fucking deal. But there was still no hiding from the 84% humidity. Then I thought, hey, maybe if I run into the wind coming off the lake…that might cool me down. But Lake Erie right now smells like a dogs asshole and, oh, as it turns out, 104° wind isn’t all that cooling.
Definitely not a memorable run. If there is any victory to be celebrated here, it’s that I’m still alive.
And now I’m going to reward myself with a huge ass Italian Sandwich and a side of creamy dill potato salad from The Kitchen here in Ridgeway, because I fucking deserve it.