Prepping Dinner

Now that work is done – finally! – I have about 45 minutes to prep dinner before hopping on my bike for a 90 minute interval session.  No rest for the weary I suppose.  And I have just the proper motivation while doing so this evening – something from my collection of Cornball albums – the ‘Hear How to Plan the Perfect Dinner Party‘.

Dinner Party 2

If this was released nowadays it would likely have been entitled ‘Bitch, Where’s My Dinner?‘   Regardless of what you call it, just look at how much fun they’re having on the front cover!

Dinner Party 3

How can I miss?

Released in 1958, the album is just that:  how to prepare a fancy dinner for six “using ingredients found in American households”.  In actuality is a released by the “Hear How” series of records that were popular at the time, featuring the explanation with “infectious enthusiasm”  by two nationally famous food experts (who believe that enjoyment of fine meals at home is one of life’s richest blessings.  Gaynor Maddox, was a hereditary gourmet, world traveler and food and markets editor of ‘Newspaper Enterprise Association‘ and his wife Dorothy was a popular food columnist, named the “perfect hostess” by her distinguished friends was rated as the most gifted and gracious cook in Rochester, N.Y. and mistress of the art of planning, preparing and serving the perfect dinner.

Seriously, how excited are you?

The album is basically four lengthy tracks on how to plan four different dinners for six including a steak dinner, a French dinner, a Polynesian dinner and a chicken dinner.  Oh, and just in case you’re interested or even tempted, all the recipes discussed within are also proudly provided on the album’s back cover.  After all, who wouldn’t get excited about “Potato Balls” or “Boiled Lettuce”?


Dinner Party1

Mmm MMM!

I imagine that this album was originally given to a young bride by either her husband or her maybe her future in-laws right before her big wedding day.  I’m sure she was simply ecstatic!*

How could she not be?

It sure beats a mop and bucket, right?

But, really, it’s about as bad as you might expect…which makes it all the more awesome if you ask me.  It’s campy and the banter back and forth between Gaynor and Dorothy is as absolutely ridiculous as it is canned.  I have no idea where I got it but I likely didn’t pay very much for it…if anything.  It’s certainly nothing I’m ever going to throw on at parties or, likely, ever play again but today it served it’s purpose.  Truthfully, this is likely the first time it’s been played in about 60+ years and it may be another 60 before I throw it on again…providing I live that long, of course.  But, as in life, every dog eventually has it’s day and today just happens to be this old dogs day.

Sorry, Dorothy.

By “old dog”, I meant your album…not you.

P.S.> And for tonight’s dinner, we’re having…chicken.

*In fact, this might be an ideal wedding gift for our friend Karen if  and when  she ever gets around to it.


About crazytigerrabbitman

I am a fat guy and always will be in the same way they say that “once an alcoholic; always an alcoholic”. Eventually I got upset about my poor health and ballooning body frame so I decided to change things for the better. Some people sign up for Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, or whatever fad diet program it is that happens to be occupying the majority of air time on the boob tube. Other people prefer to run out and purchase the latest, fold away, piece of shit being hawked by some celebrity has-been. Me? I decided to take up triathlon. I had abused my body over the years with bacon cheeseburgers, pints of beer and double-dipped donuts, and the time had now come to abuse my body with physical exertion, perseverance and hard work instead; penitence in it's purest form. The time had come to kick my ass. I am Terry Nash and I am the “fat and the furious”.
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