Now that work is done – finally! – I have about 45 minutes to prep dinner before hopping on my bike for a 90 minute interval session. No rest for the weary I suppose. And I have just the proper motivation while doing so this evening – something from my collection of Cornball albums – the ‘Hear How to Plan the Perfect Dinner Party‘.
If this was released nowadays it would likely have been entitled ‘Bitch, Where’s My Dinner?‘ Regardless of what you call it, just look at how much fun they’re having on the front cover!
How can I miss?
Released in 1958, the album is just that: how to prepare a fancy dinner for six “using ingredients found in American households”. In actuality is a released by the “Hear How” series of records that were popular at the time, featuring the explanation with “infectious enthusiasm” by two nationally famous food experts (who believe that enjoyment of fine meals at home is one of life’s richest blessings. Gaynor Maddox, was a hereditary gourmet, world traveler and food and markets editor of ‘Newspaper Enterprise Association‘ and his wife Dorothy was a popular food columnist, named the “perfect hostess” by her distinguished friends was rated as the most gifted and gracious cook in Rochester, N.Y. and mistress of the art of planning, preparing and serving the perfect dinner.
Seriously, how excited are you?
The album is basically four lengthy tracks on how to plan four different dinners for six including a steak dinner, a French dinner, a Polynesian dinner and a chicken dinner. Oh, and just in case you’re interested or even tempted, all the recipes discussed within are also proudly provided on the album’s back cover. After all, who wouldn’t get excited about “Potato Balls” or “Boiled Lettuce”?
I imagine that this album was originally given to a young bride by either her husband or her maybe her future in-laws right before her big wedding day. I’m sure she was simply ecstatic!*
How could she not be?
It sure beats a mop and bucket, right?
But, really, it’s about as bad as you might expect…which makes it all the more awesome if you ask me. It’s campy and the banter back and forth between Gaynor and Dorothy is as absolutely ridiculous as it is canned. I have no idea where I got it but I likely didn’t pay very much for it…if anything. It’s certainly nothing I’m ever going to throw on at parties or, likely, ever play again but today it served it’s purpose. Truthfully, this is likely the first time it’s been played in about 60+ years and it may be another 60 before I throw it on again…providing I live that long, of course. But, as in life, every dog eventually has it’s day and today just happens to be this old dogs day.
By “old dog”, I meant your album…not you.
P.S.> And for tonight’s dinner, we’re having…chicken.
*In fact, this might be an ideal wedding gift for our friend Karen if and when she ever gets around to it.