Flight UA12 from Buffalo to Chicago

I’m finally on my way  to San Antonio after nearly an intimidating interrogation at the border in regards to my “status” for traveling into the country.  Apparently, the customs officer didn’t like the “bona fide business” verbiage in my letter of intent letter and deemed it warranted additional questioning.  So, after nearly three hours of being grilled by goons with guns (seriously, you’d think they suspected me of having a kilo of heroine shoved up my ass) I finally turned loose to tend to my business.  Turns out everything was okay and that the officer was just being a bona fide asshole.

Unfortunately, by the time I made it to the airport I had missed my flight and just barely made this flight heading to Chicago.

So I’m trying to put it all behind me by plugging into the first of my Texas-themed music that  prepped for this trip, the ‘Wanted! The Outlaws‘  album featuring Wayland Jennings, Willie Nelson, Jessi Colter (Wayland’s wife) and Tompall Glasser.

Released on RCA Victor in 1976 and consisting of previously released material.  Intended to capitalize on the whole “Outlaw” movement which had been bandied about since Wayland’s 1972 hit ‘Ladies Love Outlaws‘, it ended up earning it’s place in musical history by coming the first country album to to sell a million copies.  The album reached #1 on the country charts, with two hit singles released ‘Suspicious Minds‘  and ‘Good-Hearted Woman‘  reaching #2 and #1 respectively.  In 1984, the album was among the first to be released to CD by RCA Records.

Finally on my way.

Finally on my way.

There’s lots to love on this album, regardless of how you might feel about Outlaws, and it’s perfect for getting into that Texas state-of-mind.  There’s the immortal ‘My Heroes Have All Been Cowboys‘, Wayland’s amazing country standard, and Willie’s eloquent ‘Me & Paul‘ which – in my opinion – is right up there with Kris Kristopherson’s ‘Me & Bobby McGee‘  for buddy songs.  Wayland and Jessi team up for a great cover of Elvis’ ‘Suspicious Minds’ and Glasser adds unique takes on ‘T for Texas‘  and ‘Put Another Log On the Fire‘ (which I’m thinking of requesting as our wedding song).  Basically, the album just drips Texas like sauce from a rack of BBQ ribs.  It’s also great for drowning out the screams of the crying baby behind me and thereby preventing me from going all postal at 38,000ft given the kind of trip it’s turning out to be.

In other news, the “Extortion Burger” I had at the Anchor Bar at the Buffalo Airport is beginning to repeat on me and play havoc with my gut.  Pretty soon, I might be able to go all “Outlaw” myself and hold the flight hostage by threatening to let loose with a toxic methane explosion the likes of which hasn’t been seen since the Hindenburg back in 1937.


About crazytigerrabbitman

I am a fat guy and always will be in the same way they say that “once an alcoholic; always an alcoholic”. Eventually I got upset about my poor health and ballooning body frame so I decided to change things for the better. Some people sign up for Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, or whatever fad diet program it is that happens to be occupying the majority of air time on the boob tube. Other people prefer to run out and purchase the latest, fold away, piece of shit being hawked by some celebrity has-been. Me? I decided to take up triathlon. I had abused my body over the years with bacon cheeseburgers, pints of beer and double-dipped donuts, and the time had now come to abuse my body with physical exertion, perseverance and hard work instead; penitence in it's purest form. The time had come to kick my ass. I am Terry Nash and I am the “fat and the furious”.
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